3/1/20- Loneliness.

When my mum first passed away I was so overwhelmed with love and support that it filled the void and the loss of her love didn't feel as intense. However nearly three months later everyones returned to their normal lives, they're moving in and forward and creating new memories but I'm still stuck in the same spot knowing my life has just been torn apart. It's hard to deal with the loneliness, you see the support other people get and you can't help but feel as though your alone in this, because that's the issue when your mum dies at the age of 17; people don't know what to say or how to act because most of them haven't even experienced their first heartbreak let alone losing someone so close to them. So they act as though it's not happening, they don't mention it in hopes you're not thinking about the weather. But really all you want is for someone to ask how you are really feeling, for them to see deeper than the smile you've plastered on your face, to ask about her and talk about her so you know she's not forgotten. And in this period it is so hard to feel as though people care, even in a room full of people you still feel alone. And it's lonely. So so lonely.